Monday, November 12, 2012

Day 2: Pledge

This is what I am to pledge to myself:

"To stop berating my body and to begin celebrating the vessel that I have ben given. I will remember the amazing things my body has given me: the ability to experience the world with a breadth of senses, the ability to perceive and express love, the ability to comfort and soothe, and the ability to fight, provide, and care for humanity."
"To understand that my body is an opportunity not a scapegoat."
"To be the primary source of my confidence. I will not rely on others to define my worth."
"To let envy dissipate and allow admiration to be a source of compassion by offering compliments to others."
"To gently but firmly stand up for myself when someone says something harmful."
"To change the inner monologue in my head to one that sees possibilities not problems, potential not shortcomings, blessings not imperfections."
"To give my body the things that it needs to do its work well: plenty of water, ample movement, stretches, rest, and good nutrition, and to limit or eliminate the things that do not nurture my body."
"To see exercise as a way to improve my internal health and strength instead of a way to fight or control my body."
"To understand that my weight is not good or bad. It is just a number, and I am only good."
"To love my body and myself today. I do not have to weigh ten pound less, have longer hair, or have my degree in my hand to have worth. I have worth just as I am, and I embrace that power."
"To recognize my body's strengths."
"To no longer put off the things that I wish to experience because I am waiting to do them in a different body."
"To understand that a body, just like a personality, is like a fingerprint: a wonderful embodiment of my uniqueness."

The bolding, it's mine. Being the primary source of my own confidence, not relying on others to define my self-worth- that will be hard. I have spent my life blaming my "failings" on my inability to live up to other peoples' standards. When I didn't make straight A's, it was because I wasn't smart enough, and my parents expected too much. When I didn't stick with drama or soccer or swimming, it was because I could never be good enough, so why bother trying. I never had the courage to decide what was important to ME, and to truly STRIVE for it. I never found that happy medium between boastful pride and inner confidence. I have been so afraid of failing that I haven't even tried.

So this me TRYING. I will be responsible for my own self-confidence. I will PUSH myself, because you cannot "fail" when your goal is simply to be present.

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